Saturday, April 16, 2011

If it is meant to be...


Last night my phone lit up with a text message from a dear friend of mine. This friend is the kind of friend I don't have to talk to everyday to know I can count on her. When hearing her talk about her life and her personal ambitions, it scares me at times because she's very much like myself; as my few genuine friends ought to be. After all, birds of a feather flock together...   

The text message read:

" **** broke up with me. I am heartbroken...I really just don't know what to do :("

Without even thinking twice, I drove myself to her place. I rang the doorbell to her condo. Waited about 30 seconds. I rang the doorbell again. I knew at this point she was probably scurrying around to clean up, wiping the running mascara off her cheeks and trying her hardest to put on a grin all before she peeked her head out as she opened the door. And of course, a forced-smile was what I was greeted with, and only a few short seconds later, to be turned into a face full of tears of a broken-hearted friend yearning for a simple hug of comfort.

I had never seen her like this before.
On a daily basis, from the day I met her she's always been bright. She's unbelievably driven; always looking to accomplish the next best thing. She cares unconditionally. I truly admire this friend. She's the type of person that doesn't rely on anyone for anything ......that is, except for Love.

Seeing her like this had me upset and asking myself why would someone of her stature allow one emotion, one situation and one person to drastically change who and what she represents. Why is it so hard [for anyone] to break through the temporary fog that blurs the vision of who we are as independent, understanding and effortlessly loving people when our love life tends to go in the direction we like to think of as downhill. It seems as though when Love is lost, nothing really matters. Life gets flipped upside down and all priorities seem invisible. 

As women we live for love. We love to love. And unfortunately, we love hard. So when the tightly woven fabric of love starts to unravel, even just a little bit, we have the slightest clue what do to.  So I'll start with this: If it is meant to be, it will be. Believe in this phrase; live by it. 
Say it again, If it is meant to be, it will be. 

Though I won't tell you my friend's situation in detail, I will tell you why it encouraged me to talk to you readers today. She started explaining the situation to me by blaming herself. Every other sentence, which was either introduced by or followed with sniffles and tears, was her asking herself "what did I do wrong?" So I asked her, "Well, what did you do wrong? In your heart, is there anything you feel you could've done better or differently to accommodate a healthier or more stable relationship?" And without an ounce of hesitation, her answer was no. Which I knew before I even asked the question. Remember that "fog" I told you about earlier, it gets the best of us. Although she knows in her heart she did nothing wrong, she still blames herself and allows her vision to be blurred. She forgets who she is and what she represents. Has this happened to you? If it has, here are a few things I'm going to tell you to get you out of that foggy slump:

Pray. This is by far number one on my list. Yes, everyone has different beliefs. But it will never hurt you to pray about your situation. (another little secret: God already knows where you're going and what will be the outcome of your current relationship/situation. Your life has already been designed by him. Just talk to him. He may not answer back right away, but he'll let you know he's listening eventually, just wait and see) He's looking at you right now saying, "This one is special, I'm taking care of her."

Love yourself unconditionally. Self-love is beyond important. When you make yourself a top priority, it is hard for anyone to make you less on their priority list.

Stop overthinking your situation. When we're sad or down, that feeling is increased with overthinking. So stop! And breathe *wooooosah*

Remind yourself of your life's accomplishments. The ones you acquired before you were involved or in a relationship. Whether that was finishing college, getting closer to God, raising a child, starting a small business, being employee of the month at work, whatever your accomplishments are focus on your personal success stories and know that you are beyond capable of absolutely anything you want to do. Always do your best. You've already accomplished so much, imagine the endless opportunities still waiting with your name written all over them!

Never forget your worth. Realize it, accept it and take pride in it. There is not a single person on this Earth like you. Not one. When you are fully aware of your self-worth, it can only positively affect everything and anything going on in your life. Knowing your worth means knowing what you deserve. Stay true to yourself and you'll get what you deserve.

Be yourself at all times, in every environment. Continue to be the understanding, loving, giving, self-sufficient woman you are. With those characteristics in your demeanor, you will effortlessly prosper. A woman like you, one that can stand on her own two feet, is more likely to get swept off them.

I'm a sucker for love myself. I love to love. And yes I, too, love hard. But you must also remember when you love yourself completely, that is the most untouchable trait you can obtain. Loving yourself is fabulous in itself.
To each and every one of you reading this, whatever it is you may be going through or that you may encounter in your ventures of life and love, you will be just fine because you are in control of your happiness. And....
If it is meant to be, it will always be. 

The diva herself, Mariah Carey, once said, 

"And if you keep falling down 
don't you dare give in 
You will arise safe and sound
 So keep pressing on steadfastly 
And you'll find what you'll need to prevail 
Once you say 
I can make it through the rain 
I can stand up once again 
On my own and I know 
That I'm strong enough to mend 
And every time I feel afraid 
I hold tighter to my faith." 

Be strong, Be confident, Be you. God Bless & Stay tuned...

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding -Proverbs 3:5

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